Date: 03/24/99
Player: Billy
Games Entered: July '98 Lee Jr. (1 list)
Correspondence: none found
Subject is almost certainly a male African-American, 45-50 years of age, approximately 6 feet tall and weighing in the neighborhood of 550 pounds. Yes, it's a big neighborhood. He is currently employed at the very bottom of a menial, low-paying job, like, say, Dairy Queen, and he has an unusually strong attachment to his mother. I mean, really unusual. His revealing list from July is as follows:
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The early placement of the classic Double-Q (positions 3 and 4) suggests a man in deep crisis. He's struggling with a very personal problem, and I don't mean his inability to say no to ice cream. There's not much mystery to it, though, and the cripple in the #8 slot gives us our answer: the big boy's got a droopy dingle. Not that he's too sexually active to begin with, but a cursory glance at numbers 7, 9 and 11 on that list suggests that he'd sure like to be. Three tenors, my ass. Throw in Karen Duffy and you've got all the makings of an undercover Geraldo expose at the Bates Motel. Yessireebob, there's a heaping helping of rage and a substantial side of weirdness packed into that pair of sweatpants, and my professional recommendation is to cease all contact. Profile prepared by: Officer Mark Report Log |