There once was a fleet-footed Czech
whose name was Emil Zatopek.
Like a good little Pinky,
he won at Helsinki,
and then was too dumb to defect.

Name
Emil Zatopek
Birthday
September 19, 1922
Age
78
Died on
Tuesday, November 21st, 2000
Famous
Confirmed
Monday, October 5th, 1998
Emil Zatopek
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Guess the Stiff!

Somebody's gonna have to explain this whole Heaven's Gate thing to us. Yeah, it's a pretty bad movie, but it couldn't possibly be as bad as Beaches, and you almost never hear about people killing themselves over that.

(d) February 20th, 1998