The shot heard round the underworld.

Holy shit. This guy is so boring even WE can't find anything interesting to say about him. Mail fraud? Oh come ON.

Gone down the tubes.

Breakfast, lunch, and dinner now six feet under.

He said, "Rock and roll is musical baby food," and then went on to create Karaoke. An asshole all the way around.

We'll see how immaculate that reception was now.

All things considered, he's not much of a journalist anymore.

Totally out.

For the duration of the season, Yankee players will all wear a million dollars on their sleeves as a sign of respect.

Now, the early worm can get the Byrd.

So that makes up for Gary Coleman then, right?

This guy's kinda like Tommy Lee in that we know more about his sausage than we do about his music.

A little bit softer now.

The commissioner attended UCLA. But we'll try and write something mean anyway. He was a terrible surfer.

3 down, 1 to go.

Pop quiz, hotshot. There's a cancer on my prostate. Once the prostate goes above 50mph, the cancer is armed. If it drops below 50, your ex-wife takes all your money. What do you do? What do you do?

Ah, the intracranial hemorrhage. Those kooky little episodes that doctors sometimes refer to as "different strokes."

Art no longer imitates life.

Dio, eh?

Please forward all mail to The Cabin in the Sky.

In his 19-season career, Roberts compiled a 286-245 record with 2,357 strikeouts, a 3.41 ERA, 305 complete games, 45 shutouts, and 4,688 innings pitched in 676 games. He holds the Major League records for home runs allowed by a pitcher (505) and for most consecutive Opening Day starts for the same team with 12, between 1950 and 1961. Also: he's dead.

Long gone.

Red, green - whatever. As long as it's a grave.

Recent Winner of A Gold Medal for Morbidity

He was considered to be an excellent police chief in LA, except for - you know - that thing where the entire city RIOTED for several days. Thanks, Daryl.

Let's be clear here: Dixie Carter is NOT FAMOUS. Nobody ever played her. Nobody ever even THOUGHT about playing her. This is exactly what the Kim Perrot Renovation is for. But we are SO tired of all the "Hey! You forgot Dixie Carter!" emails, that we added her. Happy?

Deadski.

Good night, Angels.

Good night, Charlie.

To Wonderland!

Reeking Havoc.

Oh sure - I Spy was a big deal, but what about his voice over role in Robot Chicken? THAT was some quality work.

Off to the Great Swamp.

Less Fess.

You ever been in a casket before, Joey?

14 time Pro Bowler and 1968 Pro Bowl MVP with 94 career sacks - and he'll still be remembered as a mildly retarded guy on Little House on the Prairie.

You know you are in trouble when Corey Feldman refuses to talk to you until you clean up your act.

No longer in control.

A singing opera lady. It's over.

A small funeral is planned.

They called him the inventor of "swamp rock boogie". Impressive.

A fashion designer named McQueen. Can you believe he was gay?

He won the battle but lost the..oh wait - no he didn't.

History.

Catcher in the Ground.

Go into the light!

What a lame nickname. Should have been "Colonel Mustard".

Headed for the last roundup.

Happy Ending.

Case closed.

Close The Door and Turn off the Lights.

Most people remember her for that Anne Frank diary thing. Everyone seems to forget that she was the inspiration for the Road Runner's signature sound.